Today I was sore from walking a zillion miles this weekend, and it was really hard to deal with the children who wanted to invade my space and snuggle with me and my tender pregnant belly.
Today I got to snuggle with my babies
Today I have a body that allowed me to walk a zillion miles this weekend.
Today I have a pregnant belly.
Today I had to catch up on the laundry that didn't get done for the last few days.
Today I got to use a washing machine and drier to help me accomplish the task.
Today I had to sort through baby boy clothes and try to figure out where to store them.
Today I have baby boy clothes that I was given without any kindness expected in return.
Today I had to get on to my son about eating breakfast.
Today I had food to feed my son for breakfast.
Today I had to clean up poop.
Today I have a toddler who is doing pretty good at potty training.
Today I didn't want to get up an do much, because I ached from walking a zillion miles.
Today I didn't have to get up and go to work, because my husbands has a good enough job (and we have small enough debt) that I can stay home with my children.
Today I complained, but today I was blessed.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
The Emotional Monster
Today I feel like I've been overtaken by pregnancy hormones, and of course that's not in a good way. It's so hard to be rational, or even think logically when my body is raging with hormones that are totally hijacking my emotions.
Today I am looking at my calendar for the week, and my to-do list next to it, and I just wanna hide in my bedroom. This week is going to be crazy busy for me. I don't want to do any of it, but on the other hand I do, because I've been looking forward to a lot of it for weeks now. I'm also hoping it will be fun. Most of all, Saturday is my derby game, and for the first time in 2 yrs, I don't get to play. Physically, I totally could, and my growing baby would be totally fine, no matter how hard I fell, but like I've said before, no one wants to hit a pregnant chic, not even one on skates in full protective gear, so it would be a totally unfair advantage. I'm trying to put on a brave face. Yes I'm happy to be having a baby, and no I wouldn't trade bringing a baby in to this world for playing derby, but this game I should be able to do both. I am not going to get to though, because of society's view of pregnancy as being this state of fragility. It just makes me want to bawl. Like ugly cry, type of bawl.
And I don't wanna do all my responsibilites, cuz I can't have all fun, so I'd rather just hide in my room and cry.
Stupid hormones.
The end.
 |
| This it totally how I feel today, only while crying. |
And I don't wanna do all my responsibilites, cuz I can't have all fun, so I'd rather just hide in my room and cry.
Stupid hormones.
The end.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Roller Derby and Pregnancy
So my first blog back in a while, and of course it's going to be about the two things that *kinda* rule my life. Roller derby, and kids, or at least the process of incubating them.
Yes, yes indeed I am pregnant. Some of you are muttering to your screens, "Again?" Yes again. To answer the next questions that you are muttering to yourself, "Yes I know what causes it. No it wasn't an accident or surprise. Frankly I don't know if we are done yet."
If I'm being frank here, people can be downright rude when you aren't following the society cookie cutter norm for having kids. I told my husband that I wanted 5 kids when we were talking marriage, and he thought "Surely she is nuts!" Well folks, he drank the Kool-aid, and wouldn't send any of them back. Thankfully. Cuz that would really, really, hurt. We were both ready to be done at 4, since we had the perfect set-up and why ruin a good thing, right?! I mean how many people have 2 boys and 2 girls, in that exact order? Statistically it's super rare to have that order of kids, and it's exactly what I wanted! Plus it satisfied my slight OCD. Then one day, while sitting in church, I just knew we weren't done. I leaned over and told my wonderful spouse, and he glared the glare of hellfire at me. After a few months of much arguing, (I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the right decision)
Tony woke up and told me he was okay with it. I swear I looked around the room for lightning strike marks. So then we started planning when would be a good time to to leave things in the hands of my amazing reproductive system and ditch the birth control.
You wanna know the big factor in deciding when?! Roller Derby. Oh come on, you knew roller derby was gonna come in to play in this post *some*time. I looked at the calendar and the season schedule, trying to figure out when would give me the most play time, and a decent recovery time. I wasn't trying to get back to practice after 2 weeks like last time. After all, my body is in it's 30s now.
I found out I was pregnant this spring, and crunched the numbers. I knew I could safely get away with playing through the June game, and was excited to be able to play 5 out of 8 games for the year. I was going to miss playing in the championship bout, but I would survive.....after lots and lots of tears I'm sure. For all of you cringing, thinking about a pregnant lady playing such a high contact sport, you must not have paid much attention during your high school anatomy class. The woman's body is an AMAZING thing, and an even better baby factory. It has super high tech security to protect it's product from unwanted intrusions and outside disasters. In the first half of pregnancy, that uterus is the most safe, cushioned, baby safe ever! I've been playing this sport for years so i was completely aware of my body and what it is capable of. Doctors also encourage you to keep doing physical activities that you are accustomed to doing, just not way up the physical activity cuz all the sudden you are like, "Whoah, I'm gonna blow up like a hippo, I gotta start exercising!" Hey I skated as a carhop up to 7 months into my first pregnancy, (with my OBGYN's permission) and only got off my skates because of rude customers.
Well. my body had other plans. As soon as my stomach muscles realized what they were in for, they rebelled. They wouldn't even hold their normal, very relaxed position, but went on all out hiatus. So all my league-mates started talking about how pregnant I looked, and "Oh look, she did the belly touch!" So I played the May game amidst the rumor mill, and then spilled my beans. There was no use lying. I am just sad I didn't get to play ONE MORE GAME. Stupid stomach muscles. I'd fire them if I didn't need them. Why can't I just play that one more game, you ask? It would be a completely unfair advantage. No one wants to hit a pregnant chic. Dang it.
So now I get to sit (who am I kidding, I'll be on my feet yelling) on the side-lines, coaching and cheering my team on. It'll still be a good season, and in the end I will get a new snuggle bug for Christmas. It's just a tough pill to swallow, to stand by, feeling the wind of the pack pass you by.
 |
| This is totally happening with my kids! |
If I'm being frank here, people can be downright rude when you aren't following the society cookie cutter norm for having kids. I told my husband that I wanted 5 kids when we were talking marriage, and he thought "Surely she is nuts!" Well folks, he drank the Kool-aid, and wouldn't send any of them back. Thankfully. Cuz that would really, really, hurt. We were both ready to be done at 4, since we had the perfect set-up and why ruin a good thing, right?! I mean how many people have 2 boys and 2 girls, in that exact order? Statistically it's super rare to have that order of kids, and it's exactly what I wanted! Plus it satisfied my slight OCD. Then one day, while sitting in church, I just knew we weren't done. I leaned over and told my wonderful spouse, and he glared the glare of hellfire at me. After a few months of much arguing, (I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the right decision)
Tony woke up and told me he was okay with it. I swear I looked around the room for lightning strike marks. So then we started planning when would be a good time to to leave things in the hands of my amazing reproductive system and ditch the birth control.
You wanna know the big factor in deciding when?! Roller Derby. Oh come on, you knew roller derby was gonna come in to play in this post *some*time. I looked at the calendar and the season schedule, trying to figure out when would give me the most play time, and a decent recovery time. I wasn't trying to get back to practice after 2 weeks like last time. After all, my body is in it's 30s now.
I found out I was pregnant this spring, and crunched the numbers. I knew I could safely get away with playing through the June game, and was excited to be able to play 5 out of 8 games for the year. I was going to miss playing in the championship bout, but I would survive.....after lots and lots of tears I'm sure. For all of you cringing, thinking about a pregnant lady playing such a high contact sport, you must not have paid much attention during your high school anatomy class. The woman's body is an AMAZING thing, and an even better baby factory. It has super high tech security to protect it's product from unwanted intrusions and outside disasters. In the first half of pregnancy, that uterus is the most safe, cushioned, baby safe ever! I've been playing this sport for years so i was completely aware of my body and what it is capable of. Doctors also encourage you to keep doing physical activities that you are accustomed to doing, just not way up the physical activity cuz all the sudden you are like, "Whoah, I'm gonna blow up like a hippo, I gotta start exercising!" Hey I skated as a carhop up to 7 months into my first pregnancy, (with my OBGYN's permission) and only got off my skates because of rude customers.
Well. my body had other plans. As soon as my stomach muscles realized what they were in for, they rebelled. They wouldn't even hold their normal, very relaxed position, but went on all out hiatus. So all my league-mates started talking about how pregnant I looked, and "Oh look, she did the belly touch!" So I played the May game amidst the rumor mill, and then spilled my beans. There was no use lying. I am just sad I didn't get to play ONE MORE GAME. Stupid stomach muscles. I'd fire them if I didn't need them. Why can't I just play that one more game, you ask? It would be a completely unfair advantage. No one wants to hit a pregnant chic. Dang it.
So now I get to sit (who am I kidding, I'll be on my feet yelling) on the side-lines, coaching and cheering my team on. It'll still be a good season, and in the end I will get a new snuggle bug for Christmas. It's just a tough pill to swallow, to stand by, feeling the wind of the pack pass you by.
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