The Emotional Monster

Today I feel like I've been overtaken by pregnancy hormones, and of course that's not in a good way. It's so hard to be rational, or even think logically when my body is raging with hormones that are totally hijacking my emotions.

This it totally how I feel today, only while crying.

Today I am looking at my calendar for the week, and my to-do list next to it, and I just wanna hide in my bedroom. This week is going to be crazy busy for me. I don't want to do any of it, but on the other hand I do, because I've been looking forward to a lot of it for weeks now. I'm also hoping it will be fun. Most of all, Saturday is my derby game, and for the first time in 2 yrs, I don't get to play. Physically, I totally could, and my growing baby would be totally fine, no matter how hard I fell, but like I've said before, no one wants to hit a pregnant chic, not even one on skates in full protective gear, so it would be a totally unfair advantage. I'm trying to put on a brave face. Yes I'm happy to be having a baby, and no I wouldn't trade bringing a baby in to this world for playing derby, but this game I should be able to do both. I am not going to get to though, because of society's view of pregnancy as being this state of fragility. It just makes me want to bawl. Like ugly cry, type of bawl.

And I don't wanna do all my responsibilites, cuz I can't have all fun, so I'd rather just hide in my room and cry.

Stupid hormones.

The end.