Potty Training A Stubborn 3-yr Old

 Warning; lots and lots of bathroom talk to follow.

Day 10...... That's how many days into this ordeal I am. I decided that, now that I am home full time, I have the time to finally potty train Anthony. See, I'd planned on doing it several times before now, but would start, and wouldn't end up having the time to commit to be able to finish the job. I'd even taken him to buy his own "big boy" underwear. That was not enough of a motivation for him I guess.

See, my dear sweet little Anthony is the shy, silent type, in public anyway. He'll hide behind me or bury his face into my leg if someone he doesn't really know tries to communicate with him. He frequently hollers "Mom!" at me just to tell me "I love you mommy," in his little mumble voice. Frequently he mumbles and talks really quite. He is also very stubborn. No, I will not blame it completely on his father's genes. Oh yes, Tony is quite stubborn, but I think I equal him with my own stubbornness. So basically one of our children was doomed to get a good helping of it in their personalities. Honestly, more than one child got it, but Anthony is blatantly so. An example. "Anthony, it's lunch time and we don't have books at the table for lunch, please give it to me." He walks past me and puts it in the window seat. Granted he solved the issue, but that wasn't what I'd asked. This is quite common with this particular child. More often than not, he will do what he wants, unless threatened with time-out or spanking, or revoking of some privilege or prize. Many times in those instances, he cries and I still have to make him comply. But he is so DANG cute, and he's my little bear. (He hates it when I call him that and corrects me every time - "I'm not little bear, I'm An-tony!!!") It's probably the only reason he hasn't been sold. I'd make good money off those green-eyes-and-thick-blond-hair looks of his, you know.

Anyway, now that you have an idea of the personality I'm up against, let me vent entertain you.

I started last Monday. Tony had asked me what I had planned on doing that week, since I don't work at a paying job anymore. I told him, "I'm not buying any more diapers for Anthony, I'm potty training him this week." Ok, now we are on week two, but anyway. I took Anthony to the store to pick out his choice of candy for rewards. He was excited. I let him put on big boy underwear. He was excited. I told him to sit on the toilet and try and go potty. Nope, not so excited now. I felt like I was fighting him over it every time I tried to get him to sit on the toilet. I don't even want to count how many messes I cleaned up and underwear put in the laundry the first day either! When I'd realize he'd peed in his underwear, I wouldn't get angry, just ask him oh so nicely where he had peed so I could clean it up. I would even explain I wasn't mad, just needed to know so I could clean up the mess. He still wouldn't tell me. One time he told me the couch. Nope, nothing on the couch. I figured it out about five min later when I stepped in a puddle on the carpet. In my socks. LOVE that feeling.

Tuesday, same thing. Wednesday was worse, because he needed to poop. Anthony has pooping issues. We still haven't figured out if it's a mental or physical issue. He's on Myralax daily, (at least the days I remember, which is most 98% of the time). He still gets blocked up now and then. I don't know if it's because he holds it in and doesn't want to poop, or just has troubles pooping. Well it gets to the point he dances around on his tip toes and whines. Sometimes this can go on for a couple days, but all we can do is wait. Enemas make it worse. Sometimes his little body tries sooo hard to poop, that the more liquid stuff stuck behind the blockage, gets squeezed out. Well, Wednesday this was the exact case. I found myself cleaning up more poop smears than the last time we had a puppy in our house. So I threw in the towel. I put him in a diaper and told him if he was gonna be a baby, not go potty in the toilet, and have to wear diapers, then he was taking a nap like a baby. Not my finest mommy moment. He was not happy. (Me neither buddy). Alex, of course chimed in, that Anthony wasn't making mommy happy was he, and it makes mommy really happy when we go potty in the toilet. Exactly, little man.

That night, I gave all the kids a bath, because I'd let them play outside in the puddles while I worked in my flower beds. (I totally over did it and my pregnant belly told me all about it the rest of the evening). After bathing, Alex had to pee, so he stood at the porcelain throne and peed, just like he has been for years. Well Anthony wanted to be like his big brother and join in, so he stood on his tip toes and peed right next to Alex. All by himself, no coaxing, nothing. I saw the whole thing. He was so excited! So was I! He came running to me, telling me all about it and asking if he had made me happy. Of course, I followed my cue and gushed all about how happy he had made me. He asked if he could put underwear on again, and I sadly told him that no, it was bed time and he had to wear a diaper to bed. As I gave him a kiss and hug good night, he pleaded with me, "Mommy, can I  please wear underwear tomorrow? I don't wanna wear a diaper." Absolutely!


Together, somehow, we had hit a major milestone. He is now super-duper excited to make me happy and go potty in the toilet. I think he also enjoys having power over Alex when it comes to the treats. Every time he gets a treat, he can let Alex and Autumn have one to, if he wants. So he makes Alex as him, e-v-e-r-y-t-i-m-e. (Alex even made the mistake of asking me, and Anthony said "No Alex, you have to ask me!") We've had a few accidents, but only maybe 3 or 4 pee ones since Thursday, and it's Wednesday again. He even asked if he could wear underwear to church when I told him we needed to put a diaper on him. He promised no peeing in his underwear at church. He kept his promise, through three hours of church too! He still hasn't pooped in the toilet. Heck, halfway through typing this I had to go clean him up from pooping in his underwear. Even though this is taking waaaay longer than anticipated, and I still get frustrated, I think we will both come out of this alive, and my little stubborn, tender hearted, three year old, potty trained.


P.S. Autumn seems to want in on the action too, yesterday she lifted the front of her dress and walked up to the toilet while Alex was peeing. It was too funny. Maybe she'll potty train waaaay early. Wouldn't that be awesome!

Today is Another Day Marked by Freedom

So today is the official day that our vehicle loans get paid off! I received my last paychecks from both jobs this week. So I was able to sit down Wednesday, and write a check for the remainder - $1212.75, and mail it to Exchange National Bank and Trust Co. This paid off the loan on the truck and the minivan. Paying this off meant that $690 a month is no longer going out the door to pay another creditor (although they've been pretty cool creditors, and I recommend them highly). It also meant that between not paying daycare ($200 a week average) and not having the vehicle payment anymore, has allowed me to be a mom full time! :) I know, I know, this news isn't new to anyone, I've already told you about paying off the loan through all of the hard efforts me and my husband have put into our finances.

BUT, today it's official! Just had to share.

Oh yeah, and I'm potty training Anthony, and today is the first day (since Monday) that he has been excited and willing! So today may be another day of freedom from changing diapers on the stubborn three year old!

This is your 4th?!?!?!

This is a question I've been hearing a lot lately. Most people are appalled or incredulous that I am pregnant with my fourth child. Once I confirm, that yes, this is the fourth child that my husband and I are going to have, I get another question. Normally that question is, "You know what causes that, don't you?" My normal response is, "Why yes I do, and I enjoy it thank you!" I mean, come on! Anyone who has ever hit puberty knows what causes pregnancy, do I look like that stupid? Sometimes it's "Was this one an accident/surprise?" My reply, "Nope, we like to plan for these kind of things, wouldn't you?"

What really surprises me about these kinds of conversations, is that people automatically assume I have multiple "baby daddies", that I'm crazy, or stupid for having more children than two, three is pushing it, but four?! Someone even asked me if I am a Duggar Family follower. Does having four children automatically put me in the same boat as someone who has 19 children? It's almost like I've been lumped with cultists. When did our society get to this point?

I totally get that not everyone wants to have as many children as I have, but when did four become such an astronomically large number of children to have in a single marriage family? Most of the time it's not even because people are thinking of the financial aspects of having more than two children, (raising children isn't cheap, as we all know). They just react like I must be some birth-control-refusing,-religious-fanatic,-submissive-wife-ruled-by-my-husband-to-be-stuck-in-the-kitchen-pregnant-and-barefoot-for-as-long-as-I-live, crazy person. Yeah. If given the chance I talk next about how I can't wait to get off maternity leave so I can get back to roller derby. That's when I get some really funny looks. Ok, but back to why people even treat me this way in the first place. I've even noticed that my husband doesn't get half the comments I do, and most of them refer to having a little more self control. Really?!

I come from a large family. 10 children, all with the same parents. Half of us, so far, have or are expecting a 4th child or more. My oldest sibling is done, (baring a medical miracle or adoption) at 7 children. Another sister just had her 7th child and doesn't plan on being done anytime soon. You get the picture. In my family, children are welcomed joyfully, blessings that outweigh the monetary costs. Now I'm a little more on the moderate side of things amongst my siblings. I'm probably done with baby #4, although I kinda always wanted 5, I could be fine with 4. Especially since when this baby is born, I'll have two boys, then two girls. It absolutely satisfies the OCD part of me! I don't have a strong feeling either way, being done or not done. My husband is completely on the "done" side of the fence, and even though I am a very strong-willed, opinionated woman, I do love him so, which means his opinion is important too. (If you read that right, that means that, no, I am not ruled by my husband, but we are in a p-a-r-t-n-e-r-s-h-i-p. I'm not sure that most married couples know what that means anymore.)

Ok, long story short. We are not crazy. We do believe in birth control. I did not trick my husband. My husband did not get me pregnant to control, rule me, or keep me submissive. This baby was not an accident, although the timing was a little sooner than we normally plan. We are excited to meet her, and I am excited to finally not have to feel like the worst mother in the world when I abandon her to return to work, because this time I'm a stay-at-home-mom. No that doesn't make me a lazy leech on society. We are not on welfare or any state assistance. We are not poor and have nothing better to do. We do believe in God, and I feel that adding or not adding more children to your family is something that should be done prayerfully, with His guidance. That doesn't make me a fanatic.

So if society really thinks that four children is too many, I'm sorry for those that subscribe to that thinking, for you will miss out on four times the hugs, kisses, and I love you's, and watching your children accomplish something new (even if it is beating Daddy at racing on the PS3). Yes that means four times the messes too, but four times the helping hands to clean it up. We have time for our children, they are not neglected, but they get one-on-one personal attention, (a sister of mine and her husband do "kid dates" which I think is an AWESOME idea). We can afford our four children and still be able to go out on dates, or take our children to McDonald's if we wanted to, so that can't be the reason why four is too many.

So I guess, for society, the real reason for thinking four is too many, is because most didn't get to babysit as a kid and learn how to take care of children, so they are scared of having even one. Right? Ok, that's me assuming things. Sorry. Seriously though, who decided that wanting four children makes me insane or that the mainstream ideal is two children at most?

Absence

Ok, so I know it's been a long time since I've posted. A really, really, really long time. Yeah like 8 months. You still love me right? First let me explain. This has been the summary off my life events in order for the last 6 months.

1-Tony came home from being on the road (we paid off $27k in debt while we was on the road!!)

2-I promptly became pregnant (I'm sure you don't even need to ask if it has anything with event #1).

3-I went back to work because without the overtime income from Tony being on the road, we still needed my income as well.

4-My boss informed me he was going to be closing down my place of employment, probably within a few weeks, and sooner if I got a job elsewhere.

5-I freaked.

6-I tried seeking employment in places that would pay me what I was used to making. No one wanted me. I went back to work at Sonic.

7-I continued to work 2 jobs. Job #1 was going to be available a little longer and our family needed the larger income, but I didn't want to quit Job #2 for fear of Job#1 ending shortly and not being welcomed back at Job #2. (Although now that I think back on it, Robert will ALWAYS take me back, hehehe).

8-I worked 60-70 hours a week for the next 3 months while pregnant. (Most the time I got 5 hours sleep, to get up and work for the next 17 hours. Sometimes 10 days in a row before getting a day off, or even a half day off.)

9-Tax return came back, and it was GINORMOUS!! Yes they definitely WAY overtax overtime. We were able to put $15k toward our auto loan.

10-I continued the "work myself to death" for another month to pay off the remaining balance on the loan.

11-I quit both my jobs to be a stay-at-home-mom!!!

So while there were several times I thought I was gonna die, or that I had to call someone on the way home from one of my jobs to keep from falling asleep while driving, or I thought I was gonna kill someone else because I was too tired to have any patience, or that my children didn't know who I was anymore, well, it paid off.

After almost 6 years of wanting to be home with my children, Tony and I have finally worked our little tooshies off enough to make that dream a reality.

After all this, Tony likes to tell me that I just proved that I'm stronger than I give my self credit for. I know that I cannot take all the credit. I am not a nice person without a decent amount of sleep, especially when I'm pregnant and most of my energy is being used to create a baby. I also had some horrible morning sickness during most of this time working two jobs. I was pretty much forced to be a vegetarian, and I hated it. I was able to function (though barely sometimes), and I was a reasonably pleasant person (albeit rather whiny) and managed not to bite off any heads or kill anyone. I was blessed. God blessed me with the strength to make it through this so that I could accomplish my goal to be home with my children and raise them the way He would want me to. I have no doubt that I had divine help, cuz yeah, I'm a wimp. No joke there.

The last 4 months have been the hardest, toughest ever! I am thankful for my wonderful husband who listened when I cried, who cheered me on, who picked up the slack around the house, and for being so patient with me, who insisted that our children needed me home. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. I am thankful for all the snuggles and hugs and kisses my children are lavishing me with because they missed me so. I am grateful for a loving Father who knew precisely what I needed, not an easy out, but to be strengthened in the exact way I needed, so that I could accomplish what I had to do, so that I could fully appreciate the blessing of being at home with my children.

I am so happy to be home.